Mercedes-Benz a potentially lethal combination of arrogance and ignorance.
BMW, as above plus aspiration.
Volvo, not as dangerous as yesteryear - but still need watching due to potentially problematic adoption of "sporty" image.
Suburban 4WD (Category 1 - the "child-bearing" 4WD) heavy, high, square & spotless; more armour for people who don't feel safe enough in a Volvo. A serious threat to life and limb. A very heavy piece of machinery to be in the hands of aloof and barely competent drivers especially when loaded with kids and a bit late for school.
(Category 2 - Subarus) sporty, aware, outdoorsy, with just a touch of old-fashioned Volvo-ismo.
(Category 3 - small or "toy" varieties, e.g. Suzuki) related to small red Hondas behaviorally and usually driven by persons still young enough to have reflexes capable of changing the direction of a car just before it hits you.
Large trucks and Articulated Vehicles, with exceptions that prove the rule, generally use their heightened view point and superior mass to give riders a wide berth and graciously hold snarling impatient cars at bay. Seem to enjoy the power.
Small trucks, generally lack the gravitas of the larger vehicles and tend to be driven by people in a hurry and who hate their jobs. Reluctant to concede any ground by moving to the right as they rush past, rippling your shirtsleeve as they do. Freudians may cite inadequacy.
Utes and one-ton tray trucks or Hi-Ace type vans: especially if driven by harassed, self-employed tradesmen or couriers. Depending on the time of day and/or the amount the driver is behind schedule, can be more or less of a threat. For this category speed limits are observed as minimums only. Generally see all other objects on the road as outrageous impediments.
Small white cars, modest, fuel-efficient and sensible; driven strictly within the law – especially the bit that says, "Drive as close to the left hand side of the road as is practically possible". This means DO NOT on any occasion cross into an adjoining lane when passing a cyclist, even if this may cause injury or death. Driver usually has no conception of the purpose of mirrors and careers along myopically "on track". It is possible that cyclists do not even blip their radar.
Taxis, less of a menacing presence in the cyclist's realm than might be imagined, by virtue of predictability: you just know they're going to pull straight out in front of you.
Any car displaying a "P" plate. Usually (some unkind people might say, "surprisingly") benign, possibly due to the fact that the drivers are still capable of remembering the time, not so long ago, when they too were riding a bicycle as a legitimate mode of transport. Matters may become complicated if car is occupied by more than two male youths.
Doof-Doof cars, may possibly bounce the unsuspecting cyclist into the curb with sub-sonic forces emanating from "woofers" occupying the entire rear portion of the car.

Are there any friends of cyclists on the highways and byways of Melbourne? Despite the preceding it is fair to say that the majority of drivers endeavour, and at times succeed in showing some little consideration for the self-powered road-user, but this consideration is severely tested under pressure and it takes a competent and confident driver to "stick to their guns" during peak-hour and not join with the latent mass-feeling of outrage at any non-motorised machine being allowed on public roads.. Back

6-lane, 80kmh speed limit. The tendency is for people not comfortable travelling at such speed to hug the left hand kerb - the space often inhabited by cyclists - while gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckled fashion, in dread fear of straying too near to the lane markers to their right. To encounter a vehicle in an adjoining lane at a distance less than 2 metres is considered a close near-miss, but to brush the right elbow of a cyclist is perfectly acceptable. That is, if it's noticed at all by the fear-stricken "pilot". Back

In motor sport it is axiomatic that high-performance engines require explosive and expensive high-octane fuel to maximise their potential. Aussi for bicycling, even at the lowly level of aspiration inhabited by the gazbro "team". A modest training ride can lead to costs greater than that of an automobile on a per kilometre basis.

The gazbro institute has calculated that an 80km ride may cost up to $10.00, broken up as follows: 1 banana @ $0.50; 1 Power Bar @ $3.20; 1 Growling Dog Bar @ $2.20; 1 litre PowerAde @ $0.50; bread, butter, honey, crackers, raisins and sundry post-ride "Hi-GI carbs" taken while the "insulin window" is open @ $2.00; subsequent high-carbohydrate food taken in the all important 4 hours recovery time immediately after ride ... hmmm ... we'll say about 2 bucks.

Can this really be the same, simple care-free recreation that gazbro first grew to love in his childhood? Ah, but there's no point looking back: we're slaves to the scientific rigours of our own creation! Back

Always to be the pipedream of the cyclist? Perhaps a little while yet, as Melbourne's "brains trust" ponders the worsening problem of motor-traffic gridlock. So far the ascendant arguments seem to be of the "just one more freeway should do it" sort. The historical inevitability of the return of the bicycle and the abundant contradiction contained in a sentence with the words "car" and "convenience" are yet to light up the dim minds of the transport "boffins" of this town.

So for the moment cyclists remain on the fringes (and kerbs, gutters and footpaths), and in true Australian style only receive recognition when there is a sports medal attached. Back