The Zone
		The sole purpose of gazbro's training is to avoid the embarrassment of finishing the ride in a prone position with bike thrown on the back of a pick-up truck. At all costs dignity must be maintained and a relaxed gentlemanly posture must be affected even at the cost of extreme pain. To this end gazbro has adopted a rigorous training regimen taking in all corners of the metropolis of Melbourne, all terrains and (nearly) all weather conditions.

Master Plan: the direction of travel

Like all of gazbro's training regime science comes to the forefront in the selection of training routes. We favour a circular course, as this will prepare us for our journey around the bay. Flexibility is our watchword, however, and we are able to travel both clock and anti-clock -wise.
Into the training "plan" go the variables of distance, wind direction, topography, and traffic-control measures. The impact of these factors is measured against the training "objective" and the route is duly selected.

The objectives at this early stage are fairly simple. Do the kilometres to build an endurance base and vary the intensity (by the use of wind direction, speed and hilliness) to regulate the pain. Back

Weather

Presently we have no answer (other than avoidance) to the "challenges" thrown down by persistent driving rain. We can think of no benefit to be gained from negotiating slippery tram-tracks and metal drain-covers with lines of cars behind us that may have trouble recognising a bicycle at the best of times, let alone through a misty windshield with windscreen wipers lashing. Back

Visibility

Visibility is the bicycle rider's primary anti-collision strategy (presuming, of course that few riders would actually seek contact with another vehicle) and we go to great lengths to be seen. This involves great personal sacrifice, either financial, in the cost of brightly flashing lights and the batteries it takes to run them, or social – namely fashion victimhood – with luridly coloured lycra shirts and shorts.

We suffer for our art - there can be few more risible sights than a forty-something rider huffing and puffing up a slight hill, adorned with the loud racing colours recently seen on TV on the back of a superbly fit young person ascending a mountain somewhere in France. But we gladly risk derision and ridicule, in the hope that it might engender pity and lead the motorist to restrain all urges to let you approach within 10 metres before turning straight in front of you. Back